Tag Archives: Life

Grateful

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I’m happy and I feel like crying too ,suddenly when you realize the wisdom of God you can’t help it but cry For many years I cried and suffered for thinking I’m So unlucky but I found out I’m lucky beyond my imagination.Every pain I have went through was a blessing in disguise

It took me years to get the meaning behind suffering ,it was for a reason which is to get me to my Destiny and I’m seeing my destiny unfolding and that’s rare ,very rare and beautiful and also challenging!

It empowers me to live my life determined and assured that I will get what I want someday somehow! 

I’m So thankful for all those who have helped me without knowing ,the hidden soldiers ,the angels in Human form ,I wish you all more happiness and success ,Life has never been better and I’m starting to figure it all out Eventually since I’ve been awakened and I feel like I’m on the right track and I am noticing synchronicities and signs that tell me Yes you are almost there ,keep going 🙂

Oh God I’m speechless ,Thank You ,Thank You,Thank You 🙂

Memorizing The Facts!

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There are 3 jobs i wanted and dreamed to become :Being detective,Writer and/or psychiatrist !
I’m Like any normal girl ,I lived in Egypt ,went to public school ,then college and get the certificate that i can just hang on the wall or soak it in the water then drink its water .In other words ,it’s so useless !!
I remember Adel Amam’s famous Quote in one of his plays ‘’de bald bat3et shahdat” “it’s a country that like certificates” and it’s so true ,we judge others status or education by their certificates instead of their actual knowledge while if we see the most successful people ,we would find most of them didn’t complete their studies or dropped out of school like Bill gates but they chased their passions and learn through self-study and get what they wanted and become successful !
tell me how many people who really Study something because they are interested in it or because they Luv it and want to learn more about it??? you can count these people on the fingers of one hand. Most of the students think of just passing the exams and their relationship with studying and books end there with the finals .They broke up becoz this relationship isn’t based on true love but rather the need to get something done and that’s it!!

since i was a little kid ,I was taught to memorize ,Learn everything by heart even in math or science ,we would study Facts ,facts and nothing but facts ,it’s Like “hard times” in dickens novel !!
and when I graduated I faced the hard and harsh reality ,No jobs!
All these years i wasted in studying and then Nothing! Yeah ,our government teaches us to be independent ,Go and find a job for yourself!
Most of the students in our beloved Country Lost faith in Learning.Let me tell you why
first ,you teach them from childhood like 5 or 6 to memorize ,and when these little curious creatures start to ask questions ,they got suppressed becoz who are you to question the teacher? or it’s just like that “haya kda” ,you will know later when you grow up!!

then when the children grow up ,they go to elementary school and they study more facts for 3 years .following that The Nightmare ,The horror which is called “High School” or as we call it in Egypt “ el thanwya el 3amma” and since it starts ,you find your parents putting so much pressure on you to study and study and never leave the book becoz your whole life and future depends on how high your score in the exams and that the more you memorize ,the better your chances of getting high grade and getting to the college you dream of or ironically the one your parents want !!

after leaving High school with its ups and downs ,you find the college world not much different but more years you spend in memorizing and that’s true for all the colleges like Law ,arts ,education ,etc etc .After you graduate ,you find that you wasted most of your years memorizing facts that you never use in real life or don’t benefit you in any practical way!
For God sake,Stop Memorizing!! understand why the hell you are doing this? what’s the point? if we are gonna change the future ,we must think of a creative way of doing things !
I Lost faith in the education system and come to embrace the self-study approach ,Study what you love, forget about “Study” ,that very word makes you feel like you gonna just work hard to get a high score on an exam .READ ,EXPlore,Discover ,Be curious about the world and USE your Brain to think about stuff that interest you .IF we have one life ,at least spend it Doing Something you actually Love and passionate about,anything else is just waste of time,money and effort and really doesn’t matter!

My Spiritual Awakening

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It is so hard experience to go through a spiritual awakening ,it is a tough and challenging process that takes you by surprise .you have to face your worst fears and your deep core wounds .it seems like Nothing I’ve experienced in my life before!

It is like you are sleeping your whole life and you suddenly woke up ,it’s shocking ,unsettling and Scary to say the least but also an amazing and transforming experience .you wake to a different world ,something beyond the physical and materialistic world you live in .you see beyond the illusion of this physical world 

To put it simply ,you got to meet God face to face! You see God for the first time from a different perspective! From my experience ,I got to see God as the ultimate source and power of unconditional love and mercy

I  burst into tears every time I just begin to think about the depth of God’s love for me and for this whole universe ,a love I’ve never felt before ,unconditional divine love .Love is the ultimate force in this universe.

I was so far away from God ,I rarely prayed and even when I did ,I did it it out of obligation but then came a point in my life where my need for a source of safety,guidance and assurance was so intense that I tried to search for it everywhere. everyone and everything i turned to failed me .I started searching for my needs somewhere else and that is when I found God 

And I started praying regularly and talking to God like the way I talk to my best friend ,I cried and poured my hear out ,I asked God a lot of Questions and begged him to help me and every time I got my answer when I least expected it even when I was so sad and losing it for real like nothing could contain my despair and sadness to the point I prayed once to God “make me happy or let me die” I was that much miserable that I had enough of everything ,God answered me like always and made me happier over and over again .All I needed back then was the feeling of being safe and protected because nothing and no one made me feel me safe ,only When I found God I felt taken care of and protected by a higher power

God listened and understood and never judged me ,I was shaken deeply by the depth of this unconditional love .A hand of mercy took me and guide me to the straight path 

I thought I was Lost but God always wanted me to return back and returning back I did 🙂

I listened to Qur’an every night before sleeping and the words of God was the only thing that kept me calm and sent me to deep and peaceful sleep 

I suffered from insomnia every now and then and sometimes for many months in a row 

Deep loneliness and depression was consuming me ,I don’t know a way to end my suffering which was a sleeping disorder ,nightmares ,insomnia ,loneliness and depression!!

I only find my solace and the assurance I needed when I found God 

You may wonder what is a spiritual awakening to begin with, A spiritual awakening is the awakening to your truest self ,you get to know who you really are ,what your are here for and who is God and what God intends for you all along before you were even born!

My awakening began when I started to think of myself as a soul (a spiritual being having a psychical experience),I no longer identified with anything else like my name,my personality ,my race,etc

The meaning of life changed completely,suddenly I become aware of the purpose of life ,the reason of my existence and the whole universe as large 

I also came to understand the concept of oneness that governs the whole universe

You are not separated from anyone or anything ,on the contrary ,we all share the oneness of soul ,we all are connected somehow

Now I realized I was created for a bigger purpose than I’ve ever imagined that I am here for a reason and to accomplish my mission on Earth is my rasion d’Etre

To be spiritually awakened is to work on transcending your Ego,the false self which identifies itself with anything that physical and fleeting like your job,race,physical body ,etc

Also to realize your role in the world whether it’s big or small ,you can help expand the whole universe by spreading love ,mercy ,acceptance ,forgiveness ,etc 

My spiritual awakening journey is still unfolding and I am excited to see how far it will get me inshaAllah 🙂


Simple woman

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Today I met this simple woman who told me about her story although she is uneducated ,she loved to learn and went to a night school just to learn the basics of education and she told her kids i want you to have the education that i didn’t had and let your children have a better education than you too 

This simple woman has innate wisdom and believes so much in the value of education ,something not many educated people are aware of 

She also spoke of God and told me we have no way of knowing what will happen to us next that’s why we should surrender everything to God and let God take care of our destiny ,i felt like this is a message from God to me . Those words reminded me of a struggle i am going through every day which is how to “Surrender” 

I try my best but every time i fail to let go and surrender ,why? Because i think I am too smart ,I overthink and analyze everything and I think I can always find a way to make things work no matter how hard it seems to be!

It’s my Ego I know ,my Ego thinks If I let go ,I will lose and be lost .

My ego thinks letting go means giving up .My Ego is scared to death of what will happen next ,uncertainty drives my ego crazy and it can’t comprehend that surrender is the most powerful act I can do to let my destiny unfold the way it is meant to be

But it is okay I don’t want to make an enemy of my Ego ,I approve of it and its fears and I am aware of it and I always remind myself of how surrender is the best way to reach my destination 

Do I stop trying?! No actually I keep trying and taking actions but I know when to stop myself and let it go and remind my ego it’s okay to be afraid but it is for your own good to believe in a higher ,smarter and more powerful force than yourself which is God 

My Ego agrees for a while then returns back again to going back and forth between freaking out and pushing me to do something 

It is good to keep my ego under control ,i am the one in control and i chose to surrender and see what will happen 

Back to this woman again I was amused and amazed at her simplicity and wisdom and the way she carried herself 

Her message is simple yet wise

Education is important ,keep learning to understand life

Believe in the power of God ,He is really the one in control ,surrender to God so you dont have to worry or think about anything in life 

All I can say is Amen 🙂

Soul contracts (Destiny Vs free will)

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Before we came here to Earth ,as souls we made soul contracts with many souls to help us learn something ,achieve a certain mission so we can evolve as souls and expand the universe and help all humanity 

So if we choose everything before we come here to Earth ,what about free will?

Free will is part of the contract so you can break the soul contract without even knowing because once you came here to Earth ,you forget all about those soul contracts you made and you are free to choose

I believe that the soul contract is what we call “Destiny” ,meaning that the whole universe moves to help you get to those soul contracts you made and of course with the help of other souls but once you are at the crossroads,so to speak ,that’s when free will comes into play and you have to make the choice whether to fulfill the commitment you once made before you were born or break the contract and move on 

Even as souls we had the free will to make whatever choices we want.we had the free will to choose our parents ,our circumstances,our spouses ,life challenges and lessons we need to learn to evolve as souls 

Soul contracts explain why bad things happen to good people and vice versa ,why some children suffer from diseases ,disabilities and trauma 

It was all pre-planned,pre-destined and their choice and it all serves a greater purpose which is the evolution of your own soul and the expansion of the whole universe

That’s why you can change your life whenever you want ,you can change your life path and choose something else becoz you are not destined to be poor or failure or anything else even if you chose those things before you were born!

Because again the free will 🙂

So let’s say you choose to be poor before you can came here to Earth ,you may wonder why would anyone choose that?!

Because from a soul perspective ,you saw that challenge of being poor as a challenge that could motivate you to achieve something or teach you a valuable lesson 

And you can change that destiny once you came here on Earth

soul contracts was mentioned in Qur’an when God made us all as souls witness that Allah is the only and one God ,That is the most important soul contract ever ,the one we made with God

But not all people believe in God ,so it means it is possible to break the soul contract and choose not to believe by the virtue of the free will

That’s why you should believe in both Destiny and free will

Destiny teaches you valuable lessons

Free will gives you the freedom to create your own reality


Life sucks? Or is it just You?!

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Any bad thought inside of you that cannot be you becoz your essence is goodness,peace and loveBut where do bad thoughts come from ? Bad thoughts are suggestions from Satan 

He wants you to hate your life ,to lose faith and hope in yourself ,your life and most important of all to lose faith in God!

And Satan always use the same tricks by reminding you how many times you prayed to God and your prayers are not answered yet 

That God is not hearing you or faraway 

Satan speaks with your voice inside your head so you are so unlikely to recognize that this voice is not you 

If some of you read the brilliant book “New Earth” ,you would know for sure that most of the thoughts and emotions inside you are Ego-based and that is the real you is the one who is behind thought and feeling 

Try it ,for a few seconds stop all thoughts and feelings inside yourself ,you will find complete stillness and silence ,you are that silence or as they call it in spirituality ” Presence or Consciousness” 

If you created that space inside yourself whenever you feel sad ,angry ,negative ,detach yourself for a moment ,be present and experience the real you by staying conscious and be behind the thought or the feeling watching it ,just watching it not judging or even naming it 

It is the only way of becoming more aware and present 

Back to Satan “or the negative voice inside your head” , he first suggest a very bad idea or make you think very negative thoughts ,the negative thoughts generates automatically negative feelings inside yourself and the negative feelings attract very negative situations to your life and then the negative situations make you think of more bad thoughts and more negative feelings follow and you will remain in that negative vicious cycle forever if you did not do something to break it!

So here’s the important question : how can you stop all this from happening?

First recognize the voice as not yours ,watch it and say mmmmm interesting thought

Consider yourself someone who is sitting at the very backseat at the cinema and you are watching on the screen your thoughts and your feelings ,you are just watching ,you wont get up from your seat or get involved in anything that is happening inside the screen ,namely inside of you !

Once you watch the thought without reacting to it ,it loses its power over you

You are no longer the victim to whatever thoughts roam your mind but you are the controller of everything and the same time you are not controlling anything ,you are just letting the thoughts float without judging or resisting them 

I love the story that was mentioned in “New Earth”,awesome book by the way and a Must-read, about the power of surrender ,the zen master who accepted everything that happened to him by replying by one question to everything “Is it so”?

He refuses to engage in human drama so he lets everything go wether it’s good or bad 

Our lives are the manifestation of the thoughts we think plus the feelings we feel on a continuous basis 

So change your thoughts by talking back to them ,once you have a negative thought ,talk back to it and change it before it drags you down into the abyss of negativity 

Be the silent watcher ,just watch and be aware

Don’t judge anything as good or bad ,live like zen masters and let everything go 

Becoz getting attached to a thought whether good or bad ,in the case of good thoughts, it makes you have very high expectations then eventually disappointment if everything didn’t turn out as you like or want and in the case of bad you would resent and resist life and you will suffer for a long time until you decide to change and accept Life for what it is 

Your life starts to change the day you accept it with its ups and downs ,good and bad 

Life is always fair and you always end up with the consequeces of what you choose 

So don’t blame life and don’t blame yourself ,blame is just more negativity 

Recognize that you made a mistake and learn from it to make better choices in the future

You are the master of you destiny 

You are the captain of your soul

Then it’s up to you to choose what to make with  your life

Choose wisely 


Things I would want to do before I die

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Currently I’m reading this brilliant book “untethered Soul” ,I don’t want it to End .I had Alot of “Aha moments” reading it ,I love this kind of spirituality that change and transform you and resonate with you 

Everything in life comes to an End ,have you Ever thought about the end of your life ,what if you have only one week to live .As the author mentioned ,Death is the greatest teacher in life but when Death comes ,Nothing matters at all

Here’s a brilliant quote from the book 

“Let’s say you’re living life without the thought of death, and the Angel of Death comes to you and says, “Come, it’s time to go.” You say, “But no. You’re supposed to give me a warning so I can decide what I want to do with my last week. I’m supposed to get one more week.” Do you know what Death will say to you? He’ll say, “My God! I gave you fifty-two weeks this past year alone. And look at all the other weeks I’ve given you. Why would you need one more? What did you do with all those?” If asked that, what are you going to say? How will you answer? “I wasn’t paying attention… I didn’t think it mattered.” That’s a pretty amazing thing to say about your life.”

You know Death is the greatest teacher of all ,it tells you Every day that you gonna leave Everything one day and you could lose it all in a blink and Nothing really matters,we make a big deal out of life

We never live in the moment or enjoy what we already have but always thinking of what’s next ,always trying to protect ourselves from life and therefore resisting living it 

I had this inspiring thought while reading the book “untethered soul”, what if I had only one week to live,what would I do? 

If I have only one week to live ,I would do my best to give and receive love as much as I can 

I would give people the benefit of doubt

I would try to be more nice to everyone 

I will let go of my attachments to everything ,nothing will longer matter 

List of things I want to do If I had only one week to live in no particular order

1- spreading Love ,be love ,try to be a loving person ,to be open to give and receive love 

2- I would dance to my favorite songs till I drop exhausted

3-I would call all my friends and tell them how much I love ,appreciate and miss them 

4-I would tell mom how much I love her and ask her to forgive me for Everything 

5- I would pray to God ,talk to God one last time about my whole journey and ask him to forgive me and tell Him how much I miss going home 

6-I would give all my money (if I had any left) and clothes away to my sister,friends and those in need

7- I would Wear a color I hate like orange just to tell life ,heck I’m finally comfortable being uncomfortable 😛

9-Dye my hair something outrageous like yellow or red

10- Ask all people in my life to forgive me

11- get rid of all the stuff I don’t want anyone to read 

12-Laugh at stupid things ,at my mistakes ,at myself and life becoz Nothing matters anymore

13-Cry that I gonna miss many thing but then laugh so hard becoz I had little time for sadness anyways

14- write my will 

15-As I’m going to die ,I would just let myself eat anything I crave even if it’s just junk

16-If it is raining ,I would go out ,run in the street and enjoy the rain on my face ,my last shower 🙂

17-I would run more ,jump and act like a child 

18- I would go through all the pictures I have taken and remember the sweet memories

19-I would look at a mirror ,Look myself in the eye and tell myself “I love you So much”

20-I would leave everyone in my life a sweet little note about what I love about them

21-I would read Qu’ran and feel the meaning behind every word like Savoring it 

22-I would forgive myself for Everything 

23-I would forgive everyone who had ever hurt me intentionally or not

24-I would Scream and Shout just for the heck of it

25- I would try to do something I couldn’t stand doing for long like Meditation 

26- I would write a poem about this journey

27-I would spend a day with my best friend 

28-I would enjoy air more ,taking deep breaths ,feeling grateful for everything

29-I would listen more as I’m hearing the last words being spoke to me

30-I would help more without being Asked

31-I would read something spiritual 

32-I would watch something funny 

33-I would try to stay connected to everyone and everything ,being in the moment

34-I would embrace the end 

35-I would focus on Love and see the love in every gesture 

36-I would choose to be happy 

You may would wonder why not doing these things Now instead of waiting for Death,Exactly My Point!

Start Living life Now ,Leave No Last wishes 🙂