Category Archives: Memories

Memorizing The Facts!


There are 3 jobs i wanted and dreamed to become :Being detective,Writer and/or psychiatrist !
I’m Like any normal girl ,I lived in Egypt ,went to public school ,then college and get the certificate that i can just hang on the wall or soak it in the water then drink its water .In other words ,it’s so useless !!
I remember Adel Amam’s famous Quote in one of his plays ‘’de bald bat3et shahdat” “it’s a country that like certificates” and it’s so true ,we judge others status or education by their certificates instead of their actual knowledge while if we see the most successful people ,we would find most of them didn’t complete their studies or dropped out of school like Bill gates but they chased their passions and learn through self-study and get what they wanted and become successful !
tell me how many people who really Study something because they are interested in it or because they Luv it and want to learn more about it??? you can count these people on the fingers of one hand. Most of the students think of just passing the exams and their relationship with studying and books end there with the finals .They broke up becoz this relationship isn’t based on true love but rather the need to get something done and that’s it!!

since i was a little kid ,I was taught to memorize ,Learn everything by heart even in math or science ,we would study Facts ,facts and nothing but facts ,it’s Like “hard times” in dickens novel !!
and when I graduated I faced the hard and harsh reality ,No jobs!
All these years i wasted in studying and then Nothing! Yeah ,our government teaches us to be independent ,Go and find a job for yourself!
Most of the students in our beloved Country Lost faith in Learning.Let me tell you why
first ,you teach them from childhood like 5 or 6 to memorize ,and when these little curious creatures start to ask questions ,they got suppressed becoz who are you to question the teacher? or it’s just like that “haya kda” ,you will know later when you grow up!!

then when the children grow up ,they go to elementary school and they study more facts for 3 years .following that The Nightmare ,The horror which is called “High School” or as we call it in Egypt “ el thanwya el 3amma” and since it starts ,you find your parents putting so much pressure on you to study and study and never leave the book becoz your whole life and future depends on how high your score in the exams and that the more you memorize ,the better your chances of getting high grade and getting to the college you dream of or ironically the one your parents want !!

after leaving High school with its ups and downs ,you find the college world not much different but more years you spend in memorizing and that’s true for all the colleges like Law ,arts ,education ,etc etc .After you graduate ,you find that you wasted most of your years memorizing facts that you never use in real life or don’t benefit you in any practical way!
For God sake,Stop Memorizing!! understand why the hell you are doing this? what’s the point? if we are gonna change the future ,we must think of a creative way of doing things !
I Lost faith in the education system and come to embrace the self-study approach ,Study what you love, forget about “Study” ,that very word makes you feel like you gonna just work hard to get a high score on an exam .READ ,EXPlore,Discover ,Be curious about the world and USE your Brain to think about stuff that interest you .IF we have one life ,at least spend it Doing Something you actually Love and passionate about,anything else is just waste of time,money and effort and really doesn’t matter!

My Surrender To You


I already trust You God but i want to trust You with something else my destiny! I always wanted to control everything in my life ,i never trusted anything ,i always believed that i need to be in control 

I know there are zillion ways to reach what I want and i tried everything in my hands until i reached my wit’s end 

Now i thought may be this is Your way God of trying to say to me “You have to surrender your need for control to get what you want ” 

Is it true God?

I don’t feel any resistance inside of me now

This is not the end of the story ,may be this is just the beginning 

I will get what I want one way or another ,i create my own reality and I’m So determined 

And i wont resist what is anymore ,i will go with the flow

I choose the path of least resistance 

I know You will always choose what is best for me 

I hope this is the lesson You want to teach me God

And I want to tell You I got the lesson already 

I am now on the right track

It is true God ,it is happening

I remember the day when I told You i feel great ,uplifted and happy 

God I am open to all the possibilities 

For the first time in my life ,i trust You with everything 

I know You will never let me down 

Yes God ,I say Yes to anything You choose for me 

I trust You God with my life ,i know You will take care of everything 

I know i can be aligned with my desires ,i allow my desires

As prophet ibrahim peace be upon him trusted You with his life,I surrender

As prophet Mosses said God With me ,He will guide me ,I trust You

As prophet Muhammad said God with Us ,I believe in You

As prophet Ibrahim trusted You and followed Your orders,again I surrender

So God guide me to the right path ,choose for me ,tell me what to do or what not to do

 I feel good,i feel aligned with what i want

There is no ounce of resistance inside my body

Please God answer me in any way possible

Thank You very much 🙂

Ya banat


I luv this song of Nacny called “ya banat” literally translated as “you girls” 

It’s a very sweet song and it brings back sweet memories to me ,it’s about being a girl and being proud to be a girl

It’s celebrating the sweetness of girls and their natural kind heart

Its message is the female is no less than any male 

It’s a song about celebrating the feminine and we should take pride in being females ,we carry the love and the power of creation 🙂

God gave the world a great gift which is a woman called Eve ,for without her ,there would be no life and Adam would be lonely and totally lost even in heaven!

Let’s thank God for that 🙂

My Spiritual Awakening


It is so hard experience to go through a spiritual awakening ,it is a tough and challenging process that takes you by surprise .you have to face your worst fears and your deep core wounds .it seems like Nothing I’ve experienced in my life before!

It is like you are sleeping your whole life and you suddenly woke up ,it’s shocking ,unsettling and Scary to say the least but also an amazing and transforming experience .you wake to a different world ,something beyond the physical and materialistic world you live in .you see beyond the illusion of this physical world 

To put it simply ,you got to meet God face to face! You see God for the first time from a different perspective! From my experience ,I got to see God as the ultimate source and power of unconditional love and mercy

I  burst into tears every time I just begin to think about the depth of God’s love for me and for this whole universe ,a love I’ve never felt before ,unconditional divine love .Love is the ultimate force in this universe.

I was so far away from God ,I rarely prayed and even when I did ,I did it it out of obligation but then came a point in my life where my need for a source of safety,guidance and assurance was so intense that I tried to search for it everywhere. everyone and everything i turned to failed me .I started searching for my needs somewhere else and that is when I found God 

And I started praying regularly and talking to God like the way I talk to my best friend ,I cried and poured my hear out ,I asked God a lot of Questions and begged him to help me and every time I got my answer when I least expected it even when I was so sad and losing it for real like nothing could contain my despair and sadness to the point I prayed once to God “make me happy or let me die” I was that much miserable that I had enough of everything ,God answered me like always and made me happier over and over again .All I needed back then was the feeling of being safe and protected because nothing and no one made me feel me safe ,only When I found God I felt taken care of and protected by a higher power

God listened and understood and never judged me ,I was shaken deeply by the depth of this unconditional love .A hand of mercy took me and guide me to the straight path 

I thought I was Lost but God always wanted me to return back and returning back I did 🙂

I listened to Qur’an every night before sleeping and the words of God was the only thing that kept me calm and sent me to deep and peaceful sleep 

I suffered from insomnia every now and then and sometimes for many months in a row 

Deep loneliness and depression was consuming me ,I don’t know a way to end my suffering which was a sleeping disorder ,nightmares ,insomnia ,loneliness and depression!!

I only find my solace and the assurance I needed when I found God 

You may wonder what is a spiritual awakening to begin with, A spiritual awakening is the awakening to your truest self ,you get to know who you really are ,what your are here for and who is God and what God intends for you all along before you were even born!

My awakening began when I started to think of myself as a soul (a spiritual being having a psychical experience),I no longer identified with anything else like my name,my personality ,my race,etc

The meaning of life changed completely,suddenly I become aware of the purpose of life ,the reason of my existence and the whole universe as large 

I also came to understand the concept of oneness that governs the whole universe

You are not separated from anyone or anything ,on the contrary ,we all share the oneness of soul ,we all are connected somehow

Now I realized I was created for a bigger purpose than I’ve ever imagined that I am here for a reason and to accomplish my mission on Earth is my rasion d’Etre

To be spiritually awakened is to work on transcending your Ego,the false self which identifies itself with anything that physical and fleeting like your job,race,physical body ,etc

Also to realize your role in the world whether it’s big or small ,you can help expand the whole universe by spreading love ,mercy ,acceptance ,forgiveness ,etc 

My spiritual awakening journey is still unfolding and I am excited to see how far it will get me inshaAllah 🙂

Twin flames story

Twin flames story

Click the image to buy the twin flame reunion t-shirt

This is fictional story Written by me as i imagined what a twin flame relationship would be like and their mission on earth 

He told her : Let’s get down to Earth and have the experience of our lives

She : oh no ,it’s too risky! I can’t do this!

He : come on,it’s gonna be fun

She : who told you that? Don’t you see them ,they are suffering down there and in so much pain .I saw few happy people

He : we could be one of those few!

And you know we could teach them something there and spread love ,light and awareness among them ,it is a noble mission ,think about it!

She : how can you be so sure ,we might suffer like them or even worse fail!

He : it doesnt matter , but the experience itself will transform us and make us more aware of that time and space reality in that physical dimension

She : suppose we take a journey to Earth ,how can I recognize you? We might lose each other Forever!

He: are you kidding? We can’t lose each other ,we are Twins!

She : But still it’s a big world down there ,how gonna I find you?

He: We will be in the same country

She : okay but how gonna I know you? Becoz you know you will look like one of them I mean like humans!

He : you wil just know

She : “you will just know” oh, that is too cliché!

He : oh well, we Will look alike ,we are twins remember!

She: still I may not recognize you!

He : fine ,we will be related somehow!

She : really? Like that would be a big deal! Everyone is related somehow down there!

I still could miss you!

He : you know what? I will wispher it to your soul and you would be like Aha,it’s him!

She: are we gonna get married?

He : for sure ,we must get married to accomplish our mission together

She : are we going to have children?

He : yeah Lots of children,The children of love 🙂

She : i love your enthusiasm but i fear the separation,i mean we have always been together ,it will just be too hard

He : hey don’t be afraid,God is watching over us and there are gurdian angels around us.

I believe we will never be apart ,we are always connected .just think about me and you will find me with you

She : okay Let’s do this it’s a short journey anyways  ,Let’s play and have fun

He : one last thing i want to tell you when it’s time to go we will ascend together leaving the Earth when our mission is accomplished

Remeber how you always told me you wanted to experience what it would be like on earth

She : yeah I do remember ,i always thought about it but never actually thought of actually doing it

Now with you with me ,i’m willing to take that risk.i want to accomplish that mission .

He : I really love you my twin ,my soul

She : I love you too forever and ever

When you adore chocolate



The smell of cocoanut around this crunchy little ball and its creamy filling melting in my mouth is just what I need to make me happy 🙂
Raffaello is definitely my fav chocolate along with Rocher .my sis told me and shares with me a post on Facebook that says that the world will run out of chocolate by the year 2020 due to excessive consuming and she urged me to stop my addiction but I told her no way let’s enjoy it then when we still have time 🙂

My niece Nadine


My niece Nadine or how I’d like to call her noda recently me and her really have a great bond ,I luv her since she was born but now I’m crazy about her,she is just adorable and bundle of joy.she’s just 2 years and a half,I luv her innocence ,her curiosity and aliveness .i know most of children are like that but something about her is so special May be it’s the little mercury  birrd who is full of life.i’m in luv with how she talks,walks and her reactions to all little children still struggling with talking ,she got that cute habit of replacing “f” with “s” like mama seen? Is her cute version of mama fen? Where’s mama?

I noticed how she can get so stubborn and wanting to get her way all the time  and our conversation goes something like that:

for example I would ask her to do something and she refuses

Noda: Na2a (no)

Me:Na2a leh? (Why not?)

Noda:teda (it’s just like that)

Me:teda leh?

Noda:teda, teda,tedaaaaaaaaaaa *feeling frustrated and annoyed by my insistence to know*

And the question she asks me every day what’s this? Eh dah? And everything is fascinating to her little mind : the fan that hang from the ceiling eh dah? , the buttons and the drawing on my pjs,the cars in the street,etc etc.

She never get tired of asking and trying to get know everything around her and I tried to trick her someday and used her same technique and I asked her about things she already knew and to my surprise,she answered all my questions MashaAllah 🙂

God bless her, I just luv and adore her like crazy and she always make my day when she is here .i wish to have a cute girl like her someday inshaAllah

there’s my other niece Noureen who I also luv so much but that will be another post inshaAllah