Category Archives: Diary

My 27th Birthday 

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27 Years Ago ,I was born on this day 😇😇

An angel fall from the sky ,that’s me 😛😜

Ohhhhh what the hell Was I thinking?! To come here to Earth lol

I thought it was going to be fun,easy and beautiful Journey ,so far it’s fun but So challenging and too much drama ughhh

I’m trying to enjoy it as much as I can but sometimes I just can’t take it anymore and I feel like I wanna give up and Quit 

But I always remind myself that I’m here for a reason and that the best is yet to come inshaAllah ^_^

Life can be tough and harsh but it wasn’t meant to be easy

We are here to evolve spiritually ,to love ,learn ,explore and spread love ,light ,kindness and awareness 💙

I’m here as a spiritual being on a spiritual Journey ,trying my best to achieve my mission on Earth to spread light,love and awareness and I pray to God to help me achieve the purpose And the the mission I was created for 😊

I feel lucky and blessed to be chosen for such a big role that gonna change the whole planet InshaAllah 🙂


So May God guide me through every step on this journey and be with me always ,Amen 🙏💙


Happy 27th birthday to me ,I’m 9 now 😍

2+7= 9 (this means the ending and the beginning of a new age)

I feel that this year will be my best year everrrr inshaAllah 🙏💙



God,I’m eternally grateful to You 💙


#Happy_27th_birthday_to_me

#wishes_coming_true

#The_End

#The_Beginning

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Grateful

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I’m happy and I feel like crying too ,suddenly when you realize the wisdom of God you can’t help it but cry For many years I cried and suffered for thinking I’m So unlucky but I found out I’m lucky beyond my imagination.Every pain I have went through was a blessing in disguise

It took me years to get the meaning behind suffering ,it was for a reason which is to get me to my Destiny and I’m seeing my destiny unfolding and that’s rare ,very rare and beautiful and also challenging!

It empowers me to live my life determined and assured that I will get what I want someday somehow! 

I’m So thankful for all those who have helped me without knowing ,the hidden soldiers ,the angels in Human form ,I wish you all more happiness and success ,Life has never been better and I’m starting to figure it all out Eventually since I’ve been awakened and I feel like I’m on the right track and I am noticing synchronicities and signs that tell me Yes you are almost there ,keep going 🙂

Oh God I’m speechless ,Thank You ,Thank You,Thank You 🙂

Memorizing The Facts!

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There are 3 jobs i wanted and dreamed to become :Being detective,Writer and/or psychiatrist !
I’m Like any normal girl ,I lived in Egypt ,went to public school ,then college and get the certificate that i can just hang on the wall or soak it in the water then drink its water .In other words ,it’s so useless !!
I remember Adel Amam’s famous Quote in one of his plays ‘’de bald bat3et shahdat” “it’s a country that like certificates” and it’s so true ,we judge others status or education by their certificates instead of their actual knowledge while if we see the most successful people ,we would find most of them didn’t complete their studies or dropped out of school like Bill gates but they chased their passions and learn through self-study and get what they wanted and become successful !
tell me how many people who really Study something because they are interested in it or because they Luv it and want to learn more about it??? you can count these people on the fingers of one hand. Most of the students think of just passing the exams and their relationship with studying and books end there with the finals .They broke up becoz this relationship isn’t based on true love but rather the need to get something done and that’s it!!

since i was a little kid ,I was taught to memorize ,Learn everything by heart even in math or science ,we would study Facts ,facts and nothing but facts ,it’s Like “hard times” in dickens novel !!
and when I graduated I faced the hard and harsh reality ,No jobs!
All these years i wasted in studying and then Nothing! Yeah ,our government teaches us to be independent ,Go and find a job for yourself!
Most of the students in our beloved Country Lost faith in Learning.Let me tell you why
first ,you teach them from childhood like 5 or 6 to memorize ,and when these little curious creatures start to ask questions ,they got suppressed becoz who are you to question the teacher? or it’s just like that “haya kda” ,you will know later when you grow up!!

then when the children grow up ,they go to elementary school and they study more facts for 3 years .following that The Nightmare ,The horror which is called “High School” or as we call it in Egypt “ el thanwya el 3amma” and since it starts ,you find your parents putting so much pressure on you to study and study and never leave the book becoz your whole life and future depends on how high your score in the exams and that the more you memorize ,the better your chances of getting high grade and getting to the college you dream of or ironically the one your parents want !!

after leaving High school with its ups and downs ,you find the college world not much different but more years you spend in memorizing and that’s true for all the colleges like Law ,arts ,education ,etc etc .After you graduate ,you find that you wasted most of your years memorizing facts that you never use in real life or don’t benefit you in any practical way!
For God sake,Stop Memorizing!! understand why the hell you are doing this? what’s the point? if we are gonna change the future ,we must think of a creative way of doing things !
I Lost faith in the education system and come to embrace the self-study approach ,Study what you love, forget about “Study” ,that very word makes you feel like you gonna just work hard to get a high score on an exam .READ ,EXPlore,Discover ,Be curious about the world and USE your Brain to think about stuff that interest you .IF we have one life ,at least spend it Doing Something you actually Love and passionate about,anything else is just waste of time,money and effort and really doesn’t matter!

My Surrender To You

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I already trust You God but i want to trust You with something else my destiny! I always wanted to control everything in my life ,i never trusted anything ,i always believed that i need to be in control 

I know there are zillion ways to reach what I want and i tried everything in my hands until i reached my wit’s end 

Now i thought may be this is Your way God of trying to say to me “You have to surrender your need for control to get what you want ” 

Is it true God?

I don’t feel any resistance inside of me now

This is not the end of the story ,may be this is just the beginning 

I will get what I want one way or another ,i create my own reality and I’m So determined 

And i wont resist what is anymore ,i will go with the flow

I choose the path of least resistance 

I know You will always choose what is best for me 

I hope this is the lesson You want to teach me God

And I want to tell You I got the lesson already 

I am now on the right track

It is true God ,it is happening

I remember the day when I told You i feel great ,uplifted and happy 

God I am open to all the possibilities 

For the first time in my life ,i trust You with everything 

I know You will never let me down 

Yes God ,I say Yes to anything You choose for me 

I trust You God with my life ,i know You will take care of everything 

I know i can be aligned with my desires ,i allow my desires

As prophet ibrahim peace be upon him trusted You with his life,I surrender

As prophet Mosses said God With me ,He will guide me ,I trust You

As prophet Muhammad said God with Us ,I believe in You

As prophet Ibrahim trusted You and followed Your orders,again I surrender

So God guide me to the right path ,choose for me ,tell me what to do or what not to do

 I feel good,i feel aligned with what i want

There is no ounce of resistance inside my body

Please God answer me in any way possible

Thank You very much 🙂

My Spiritual Awakening

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It is so hard experience to go through a spiritual awakening ,it is a tough and challenging process that takes you by surprise .you have to face your worst fears and your deep core wounds .it seems like Nothing I’ve experienced in my life before!

It is like you are sleeping your whole life and you suddenly woke up ,it’s shocking ,unsettling and Scary to say the least but also an amazing and transforming experience .you wake to a different world ,something beyond the physical and materialistic world you live in .you see beyond the illusion of this physical world 

To put it simply ,you got to meet God face to face! You see God for the first time from a different perspective! From my experience ,I got to see God as the ultimate source and power of unconditional love and mercy

I  burst into tears every time I just begin to think about the depth of God’s love for me and for this whole universe ,a love I’ve never felt before ,unconditional divine love .Love is the ultimate force in this universe.

I was so far away from God ,I rarely prayed and even when I did ,I did it it out of obligation but then came a point in my life where my need for a source of safety,guidance and assurance was so intense that I tried to search for it everywhere. everyone and everything i turned to failed me .I started searching for my needs somewhere else and that is when I found God 

And I started praying regularly and talking to God like the way I talk to my best friend ,I cried and poured my hear out ,I asked God a lot of Questions and begged him to help me and every time I got my answer when I least expected it even when I was so sad and losing it for real like nothing could contain my despair and sadness to the point I prayed once to God “make me happy or let me die” I was that much miserable that I had enough of everything ,God answered me like always and made me happier over and over again .All I needed back then was the feeling of being safe and protected because nothing and no one made me feel me safe ,only When I found God I felt taken care of and protected by a higher power

God listened and understood and never judged me ,I was shaken deeply by the depth of this unconditional love .A hand of mercy took me and guide me to the straight path 

I thought I was Lost but God always wanted me to return back and returning back I did 🙂

I listened to Qur’an every night before sleeping and the words of God was the only thing that kept me calm and sent me to deep and peaceful sleep 

I suffered from insomnia every now and then and sometimes for many months in a row 

Deep loneliness and depression was consuming me ,I don’t know a way to end my suffering which was a sleeping disorder ,nightmares ,insomnia ,loneliness and depression!!

I only find my solace and the assurance I needed when I found God 

You may wonder what is a spiritual awakening to begin with, A spiritual awakening is the awakening to your truest self ,you get to know who you really are ,what your are here for and who is God and what God intends for you all along before you were even born!

My awakening began when I started to think of myself as a soul (a spiritual being having a psychical experience),I no longer identified with anything else like my name,my personality ,my race,etc

The meaning of life changed completely,suddenly I become aware of the purpose of life ,the reason of my existence and the whole universe as large 

I also came to understand the concept of oneness that governs the whole universe

You are not separated from anyone or anything ,on the contrary ,we all share the oneness of soul ,we all are connected somehow

Now I realized I was created for a bigger purpose than I’ve ever imagined that I am here for a reason and to accomplish my mission on Earth is my rasion d’Etre

To be spiritually awakened is to work on transcending your Ego,the false self which identifies itself with anything that physical and fleeting like your job,race,physical body ,etc

Also to realize your role in the world whether it’s big or small ,you can help expand the whole universe by spreading love ,mercy ,acceptance ,forgiveness ,etc 

My spiritual awakening journey is still unfolding and I am excited to see how far it will get me inshaAllah 🙂


Mango (This is crazy) 

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There are many things to enjoy in life like Mango for Example 😀

This mango is crazy big like more than one kilo that’s why i took a pic of it and also becoz i luv to take pictures of my food 😛

I couldn’t finish eating it Although I tried but I am determined on finsihing it tonight 

It’s so sweet and yummy and i just can’t resist it mmmmm ,I can’t get enough of you Mango hahahahaha ^_^

Things I would want to do before I die

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Currently I’m reading this brilliant book “untethered Soul” ,I don’t want it to End .I had Alot of “Aha moments” reading it ,I love this kind of spirituality that change and transform you and resonate with you 

Everything in life comes to an End ,have you Ever thought about the end of your life ,what if you have only one week to live .As the author mentioned ,Death is the greatest teacher in life but when Death comes ,Nothing matters at all

Here’s a brilliant quote from the book 

“Let’s say you’re living life without the thought of death, and the Angel of Death comes to you and says, “Come, it’s time to go.” You say, “But no. You’re supposed to give me a warning so I can decide what I want to do with my last week. I’m supposed to get one more week.” Do you know what Death will say to you? He’ll say, “My God! I gave you fifty-two weeks this past year alone. And look at all the other weeks I’ve given you. Why would you need one more? What did you do with all those?” If asked that, what are you going to say? How will you answer? “I wasn’t paying attention… I didn’t think it mattered.” That’s a pretty amazing thing to say about your life.”

You know Death is the greatest teacher of all ,it tells you Every day that you gonna leave Everything one day and you could lose it all in a blink and Nothing really matters,we make a big deal out of life

We never live in the moment or enjoy what we already have but always thinking of what’s next ,always trying to protect ourselves from life and therefore resisting living it 

I had this inspiring thought while reading the book “untethered soul”, what if I had only one week to live,what would I do? 

If I have only one week to live ,I would do my best to give and receive love as much as I can 

I would give people the benefit of doubt

I would try to be more nice to everyone 

I will let go of my attachments to everything ,nothing will longer matter 

List of things I want to do If I had only one week to live in no particular order

1- spreading Love ,be love ,try to be a loving person ,to be open to give and receive love 

2- I would dance to my favorite songs till I drop exhausted

3-I would call all my friends and tell them how much I love ,appreciate and miss them 

4-I would tell mom how much I love her and ask her to forgive me for Everything 

5- I would pray to God ,talk to God one last time about my whole journey and ask him to forgive me and tell Him how much I miss going home 

6-I would give all my money (if I had any left) and clothes away to my sister,friends and those in need

7- I would Wear a color I hate like orange just to tell life ,heck I’m finally comfortable being uncomfortable 😛

9-Dye my hair something outrageous like yellow or red

10- Ask all people in my life to forgive me

11- get rid of all the stuff I don’t want anyone to read 

12-Laugh at stupid things ,at my mistakes ,at myself and life becoz Nothing matters anymore

13-Cry that I gonna miss many thing but then laugh so hard becoz I had little time for sadness anyways

14- write my will 

15-As I’m going to die ,I would just let myself eat anything I crave even if it’s just junk

16-If it is raining ,I would go out ,run in the street and enjoy the rain on my face ,my last shower 🙂

17-I would run more ,jump and act like a child 

18- I would go through all the pictures I have taken and remember the sweet memories

19-I would look at a mirror ,Look myself in the eye and tell myself “I love you So much”

20-I would leave everyone in my life a sweet little note about what I love about them

21-I would read Qu’ran and feel the meaning behind every word like Savoring it 

22-I would forgive myself for Everything 

23-I would forgive everyone who had ever hurt me intentionally or not

24-I would Scream and Shout just for the heck of it

25- I would try to do something I couldn’t stand doing for long like Meditation 

26- I would write a poem about this journey

27-I would spend a day with my best friend 

28-I would enjoy air more ,taking deep breaths ,feeling grateful for everything

29-I would listen more as I’m hearing the last words being spoke to me

30-I would help more without being Asked

31-I would read something spiritual 

32-I would watch something funny 

33-I would try to stay connected to everyone and everything ,being in the moment

34-I would embrace the end 

35-I would focus on Love and see the love in every gesture 

36-I would choose to be happy 

You may would wonder why not doing these things Now instead of waiting for Death,Exactly My Point!

Start Living life Now ,Leave No Last wishes 🙂