Monthly Archives: December 2015

2015 in review

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 20 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Ya banat

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http://youtu.be/xqSro4WaFZQ

I luv this song of Nacny called “ya banat” literally translated as “you girls” 

It’s a very sweet song and it brings back sweet memories to me ,it’s about being a girl and being proud to be a girl

It’s celebrating the sweetness of girls and their natural kind heart

Its message is the female is no less than any male 

It’s a song about celebrating the feminine and we should take pride in being females ,we carry the love and the power of creation 🙂

God gave the world a great gift which is a woman called Eve ,for without her ,there would be no life and Adam would be lonely and totally lost even in heaven!

Let’s thank God for that 🙂

Embracing Pain

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Resisting pain making it persists. I want to feel my pain no matter how hard it is!I had a half headache and cold yesterday and moreover I was feeling so nauseated that I had to wake up and throw up!

But at one point I said to myself “You had to stop fighting pain ,feel it” 

And I felt it deeply with every fiber in my being and I felt that it still hurts but it doesn’t bother me anymore ,it was like Okay I can handle that and I fell asleep after that 

Pain stands for “Pay Attention inside Now” ,if you kept denying,ignoring and suppressing your pain ,guess what? It will keep hurting you like hell and get the best of you but once you stop all the resistance and fighting and embrace it ,something dramatic happens ,it stops to be pain but merely a “physical sensation” 

I played this game with myself ,I said “what does this pain inside me feel like?!” And I tried to come up with analogy to best describe it 

I found out the more clearer and accurate to describe what it feels like ,the more it helped to handle it even coming up with something weird or funny helps Alot 

Becoz if you didnt name your pain and put it in a box,so to speak,it consumes and overwhelms you 

It is like this is so huge ,i cannot even begin to describe what is it doing to me 

Narrow it down as much as possible and say to yourself “I can handle it” and let your body heals you 

I always let taking medications my last option becoz I want to be stronger than my pain and I want to find out the why of it all ,what is my body trying to tell me?

May be I need more sleep or rest or anything else 

Deal with the root cause and not the symptom 

Whether your pain is physical or emotional ,feel it,embrace it and find the root cause of why you feel this way 

This is true healing and you will find yourself more lighter and healthier  

My Spiritual Awakening

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It is so hard experience to go through a spiritual awakening ,it is a tough and challenging process that takes you by surprise .you have to face your worst fears and your deep core wounds .it seems like Nothing I’ve experienced in my life before!

It is like you are sleeping your whole life and you suddenly woke up ,it’s shocking ,unsettling and Scary to say the least but also an amazing and transforming experience .you wake to a different world ,something beyond the physical and materialistic world you live in .you see beyond the illusion of this physical world 

To put it simply ,you got to meet God face to face! You see God for the first time from a different perspective! From my experience ,I got to see God as the ultimate source and power of unconditional love and mercy

I  burst into tears every time I just begin to think about the depth of God’s love for me and for this whole universe ,a love I’ve never felt before ,unconditional divine love .Love is the ultimate force in this universe.

I was so far away from God ,I rarely prayed and even when I did ,I did it it out of obligation but then came a point in my life where my need for a source of safety,guidance and assurance was so intense that I tried to search for it everywhere. everyone and everything i turned to failed me .I started searching for my needs somewhere else and that is when I found God 

And I started praying regularly and talking to God like the way I talk to my best friend ,I cried and poured my hear out ,I asked God a lot of Questions and begged him to help me and every time I got my answer when I least expected it even when I was so sad and losing it for real like nothing could contain my despair and sadness to the point I prayed once to God “make me happy or let me die” I was that much miserable that I had enough of everything ,God answered me like always and made me happier over and over again .All I needed back then was the feeling of being safe and protected because nothing and no one made me feel me safe ,only When I found God I felt taken care of and protected by a higher power

God listened and understood and never judged me ,I was shaken deeply by the depth of this unconditional love .A hand of mercy took me and guide me to the straight path 

I thought I was Lost but God always wanted me to return back and returning back I did 🙂

I listened to Qur’an every night before sleeping and the words of God was the only thing that kept me calm and sent me to deep and peaceful sleep 

I suffered from insomnia every now and then and sometimes for many months in a row 

Deep loneliness and depression was consuming me ,I don’t know a way to end my suffering which was a sleeping disorder ,nightmares ,insomnia ,loneliness and depression!!

I only find my solace and the assurance I needed when I found God 

You may wonder what is a spiritual awakening to begin with, A spiritual awakening is the awakening to your truest self ,you get to know who you really are ,what your are here for and who is God and what God intends for you all along before you were even born!

My awakening began when I started to think of myself as a soul (a spiritual being having a psychical experience),I no longer identified with anything else like my name,my personality ,my race,etc

The meaning of life changed completely,suddenly I become aware of the purpose of life ,the reason of my existence and the whole universe as large 

I also came to understand the concept of oneness that governs the whole universe

You are not separated from anyone or anything ,on the contrary ,we all share the oneness of soul ,we all are connected somehow

Now I realized I was created for a bigger purpose than I’ve ever imagined that I am here for a reason and to accomplish my mission on Earth is my rasion d’Etre

To be spiritually awakened is to work on transcending your Ego,the false self which identifies itself with anything that physical and fleeting like your job,race,physical body ,etc

Also to realize your role in the world whether it’s big or small ,you can help expand the whole universe by spreading love ,mercy ,acceptance ,forgiveness ,etc 

My spiritual awakening journey is still unfolding and I am excited to see how far it will get me inshaAllah 🙂


Simple woman

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Today I met this simple woman who told me about her story although she is uneducated ,she loved to learn and went to a night school just to learn the basics of education and she told her kids i want you to have the education that i didn’t had and let your children have a better education than you too 

This simple woman has innate wisdom and believes so much in the value of education ,something not many educated people are aware of 

She also spoke of God and told me we have no way of knowing what will happen to us next that’s why we should surrender everything to God and let God take care of our destiny ,i felt like this is a message from God to me . Those words reminded me of a struggle i am going through every day which is how to “Surrender” 

I try my best but every time i fail to let go and surrender ,why? Because i think I am too smart ,I overthink and analyze everything and I think I can always find a way to make things work no matter how hard it seems to be!

It’s my Ego I know ,my Ego thinks If I let go ,I will lose and be lost .

My ego thinks letting go means giving up .My Ego is scared to death of what will happen next ,uncertainty drives my ego crazy and it can’t comprehend that surrender is the most powerful act I can do to let my destiny unfold the way it is meant to be

But it is okay I don’t want to make an enemy of my Ego ,I approve of it and its fears and I am aware of it and I always remind myself of how surrender is the best way to reach my destination 

Do I stop trying?! No actually I keep trying and taking actions but I know when to stop myself and let it go and remind my ego it’s okay to be afraid but it is for your own good to believe in a higher ,smarter and more powerful force than yourself which is God 

My Ego agrees for a while then returns back again to going back and forth between freaking out and pushing me to do something 

It is good to keep my ego under control ,i am the one in control and i chose to surrender and see what will happen 

Back to this woman again I was amused and amazed at her simplicity and wisdom and the way she carried herself 

Her message is simple yet wise

Education is important ,keep learning to understand life

Believe in the power of God ,He is really the one in control ,surrender to God so you dont have to worry or think about anything in life 

All I can say is Amen 🙂

Interstellar

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Time is an illusion and really relative ,the past and the present and the future exist at the same time but all in different dimensions,it’s interesting how we think we are living in three-dimensional world while everything is happening at the same time

The movie interstellar showed this idea of relativity of time when spending only one hour on a different planet equals seven years on Earth !!

When cooper gets stuck in the fifth dimension,he was in future and he was able to see himself in the past and all things was happening simultaneously!

And what he thought was a Ghost was him from the future trying to send a message to his daughter 

There were no aliens but people in the future was finally able to penetrate through this illusion of time and space and contacting their past selves!

It’s also about survival ,scarifice and trying to find a new home as the Earth is supposedly comeing to an End and human race about to go extinct 

An Epic movie that literally moved me to tears ,very entertaining and thought-provoking.one of the most amazing movies I’ve ever seen 🙂