Monthly Archives: February 2013

Losing weight is no longer an option!


I struggled with my weight loss for many years and i still do. it’s not lack of determination but it’s lack of discipline and consistency. it’s so easy to start but to keep on track is so damn hard!!
I lose almost 20 kg in 2 or 3 months  when i was in high school becoz i cut all the carbohydrates from my regime ,I just veggies and no sugar ,no rice and almost no bread plus i did lots of exercise back then ,when i used to walk for a very long distances and going up and down the stairs Everywhere but becoz I lost all the weight in a very short time and suddenly ,I suffered from side effects as well like my hair started to fall massively and that freaked me out ,I felt dizzy almost all of the time and i got tired easily from doing anything .I felt tired all the time and slept too much more than i used to ,i found out that this is symptoms of “Anemia “ !!
Everyone was impressed at how thin i was but they told me and encouraged me to stop becoz it’s doing me harm than good .so I quit dieting and went back to eating like be4 and i gained all the weight back and even Extra unfortunately!!
I discovered when i was dieting ,I was thinking about everything be4 i eat it ,I was so conscious of what i’m eating and how much amount of food i’m eating and whether it’s healthy or not . but when i stopped Dieting ,i was just eating anything and in whatever amount and i was actually eating unconsciously!!
i felt great when i was thin ,the clothes fit perfectly and i felt comfortable wearing them and my self-esteem was so high .Now ,I want to lose some weight again and this time is no longer an option ,I don’t just want to be thin or becoz it looks good or make me more attractive but now becoz weight affects my health ,i started to feel back pain and i guess the main reason is my weight!
my aim is not to be super model or skinny but just to be fit and healthy.i think i should start to set short time goals to do that .I will do that for me and becoz i know one of the reasons of my low self-esteem and self-image issues is my weight and how much i think badly of myself!
but thank God i can fix that and i just need to take action and keep going to be persistent  
I can do it ,i believe i can 🙂

Sick sad!!


“I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often.” 
― Charles BukowskiTales of Ordinary Madness



Do u know how it feels when u Lose something
and You can’t find it anywhere
U go crazy ,right?
u try hard to find where the last time this thing were
where did u put it?
u search Everywhere but in vain
Suddenly u stop looking becoz it doesn’t matter anyway
I lost myself in a feeling that I can’t find myself anymore
without that feeling ,who am I? where can I find myself again!!