Monthly Archives: April 2012

Missing

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It’s been 2 days since my sister and nieces left and i just feel like it’s been ages ,I miss them so much
it’s funny how we get attached to ppl that much but at the same time we don’t notice or even realize what they mean to us ,we take them for granted !!
I miss my nieces Nadin and Noureen,they fill the house with joy ,laughter and craziness since they wake up
i can hear their noise while I’m still half-asleepNoureen is playing and watching The Tv either cartoon or kids songs that i come to love them later it’s silly but funny and Nadin is always hyper-active and very curious little cutie girl who can’t stay calm for more than just 5 seconds but i adore her to pieces
ohhhh how much i miss u both and especially Nadin
how i miss holding u tightly in my arms
playing with u while u r laughing out loud from excitement
i miss ur smile ,ur laugh and even ur annoying crying
I miss ur smell and everything
i miss how u wander in every room and ur desperate attempts to walk and talk
I miss u so much but ur picture is on my mind and heart
I will miss watching u growing up day by day
I will miss the day when u say ur first word
I will miss ur first birthday
I will miss ur first step
but i saw ur first teeth ,how cutie 😀
i hope to live long just to see u how amazing girl u turn out to be ,i luv u with all my heart
Noureen&Nadin luv u both like cray,May Allah bless u ❤

Letter to You

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you don’t know what loneliness mean,to be on ur own compeletly even when surrounded by ppl ,u still feel that they r far away and u r only exist physically with them but ur mind and heart are somewhere else seeking spiritual salvation
I’m not judging u ,as perfectionist it is hard for me to accept imperfection or even tolerate it but I’m trying my best to live with it even my flaws I’m starting to embrace them as part of me
I follow my instinct and it never lied to me ,it was alwayz right so why now should i go against it and do otherwise ~~
Life with it ups and downs is just a game ,a test and I’m not trying to make a big deal out of it
I don’t want to know the future for that will be joy killing ,i luv the mystery ,the excitement ,the unpredictable but one one thing for sure i want to know who am i before going one step forward to it  ,I’m already there becoz there is Now !!
Imagine that I could create You ,the perfect You in my imagination and I’m happy becoz u r exactly what i need and everything I’m dreamed of is YOU

See you soon
take care

The glory of the past

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If i can go back on time ,i would love to visit the Victorian age in England ,to wear these fancy dresses ,read poetry and novels ,fall in love with a handsome gentleman ,get married in that house on the lake with greenly vista have kids ,raise them until i become grandma and i sit on that chair knitting some crochet i guess i will have so much free time hehehe ^^
Now with technology,facebook ,ipads ,cell phones and all that craziness i find that we r more stressed and we don’t enjoy things and less satisfied generally ,i don’t know if it’s just me or a global phenomena ? I’m not sure but that may be it is  just a daydream ,nothing more ,nothing less!!

Quote of the Day‏

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“Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours. ”
Audrey Hepburn (1929-1993);

actress, humanitarian

To be or not to be,that’s the question!!

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 I asked myself that question :what if I died after one year,what would I do differently?

what comes to my mind many things I need to change about me ,I should be myself and not bother about what others think of me ,express myself and speak my mind ,start to enjoy life with its ups and downs ,look at the bright side and the glass is half full and I fill the rest of it with my positive attitude
I will embrace life ,I will stop whining ,stop wondering what if and think only of what could be .i will be happy for no reason at all ,just becoz I want to be becoz I don’t want to waste another day of my life being sad for whatever reason!  I will get crazy ,do whatever stupid idea comes into my head just for the fun of it but I will make sure not to hurt anyone .Actually I will start to live life and enjoy it as it is .be more grateful for everything I got and still dream of  having it all
seek forgiveness from God and be as much as spiritually closer as I can
Say AlhamdulilAllah with every breath I take ,inhale and exhale
it seems to me that we postpone life ,we always try to find excuses for putting off what we really want to do or for any real change to happen in  life ,actually we put off living life itself ,we put conditions on our happiness or even worse we wait for others to make us happy as it’s their job ,it’s pathetic!!
and I don’t wanna live like this ,I wanna be happy no matter what.be grateful ,positive and be myself ,that’s it.I choose to be :))

what is Love?

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..
الحب إحساس جاهز فطرى فى داخلنا …ينمو إذا واتته الظروف …وهو ينمو دائما من الداخل ..بدون مؤثرات بهلوانية من الخارج …وبدون تمثيل وافتعال وكذب ..

وهو يضيع ويفقد فى اللحظة التى يبدأ فيها الاثنان يصنعانه صنعا كما تصنع الأدوية التركيب من أخلاط العواطف والتاكتيكات والمؤثرات …

إنه إحساس داخلى ينمو بطريقة تلقائية …بدون قصد أو نية ..من التقاء اثنين .

ويبدأ بإحساس فطرى بالسرور والفرح والسعادة والارتياح لمجرد التلاقى ..بدون الحاجة إلى كلام ..أو محاضرات ..ثم ينمو .

ويأخد كل حبيب يعطى من ذات نفسه لحبيبه دون أن يدرى ..يأخد فى التضحية دون أن يدرى إنه يضحى ..ويتبادل الاثنان اهتمامات كثيرة لا حصر لها ….فكل منهما يهتم بالآخر ويحمل همومه ..ويتعذب بعذاباته ..ويقلق لقلقه ..ويفرح لفرحه ..

وكل منهما لا يطلب شيئا من الاخر ..إنه يعطى ولا يطلب ..

إنه يريد أن يرى حبيبه كما هو ..لا اكثر
وهو لا يجد حاجة إلى الكذب والادعاء والتمثيل وهو يحس بالأمان إلى جواره ..يحس بأنه سكن يأوى إليه ويستريح حيث الظل والماء والطعام والفراش المريح ..
وهذا الاحساس بالسكن و الاكتفاء هو الذى يعطيه الشعور بالامان ..وبأنه فى غنى عن كل الناس .
والحب الصحيح خال من الغرض ..وإنما تأتى الاغراض فيما بعد …
حينما يحس كل حبيب بأنه عاجز عن الحياة بدون الآخر،،وبأنه فى حاجة إليه كل يوم وكل لحظة ،،ولا وسيلة لذلك فى مجتمعنا غير الزواج ..

ولهذا لا يكون الزواج هدفا مقصودا من البداية ،،وإنما يكون نتيجة يتورط فيها الاثنان لفرط ما هما فيه من الحب..

حتى الاخلاص لا يتم باتفاق وتعاقد ..وإنما يتم من تلقاء نفسه حينما يحس كل الحبيبين بأنه يمتلئ بالآخر ،،وبأنه لا يجد مكانا فى نفسه لحب ثان ..
إنه يصحو فيكتشف أنه مخلص ..وأن ذهنه محصور فى شخص واحد ..يدور فى فلكه

د/ مصطفى محمود